Have some toilet paper for your mouth…

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… because what’s coming out of it is a load of shit.

From an MSNBC article:

Oda said banning guns on campus might do more harm than good. He said people bent on violence might resort to other, perhaps bloodier methods, such as swords. “A person that’s got skill with a sword in a very big crowd could put a lot more people down with a sword than a gun,” he said. “They’re silent. You’ll have people screaming, but nobody knows what’s going on.”

Please put your head back in your ass so that when you talk, no one can hear you. You, sir, have clearly never picked up a sword in your entire life. Here is what it is like to cut with a sword. Take a three foot stick and smack a radial tire swing with it. If you can get the tire swing to fly out of the way without transmitting a massive amount of vibration back into your arms, or without bouncing the stick back up in your face, then you may be competent with a sword.

Sword cutting is HARD. It takes thousands of hours of practice to be able to cut effectively with a sword, no matter how sharp it is. It takes thousands of hours, too, with a gun on a range to be able to kill with pinpoint accuracy, but if you shoot wildly into a crowd, you’ll do some pretty serious damage, probably even fatally wound some people. If you swing a sword wildly into a crowd with no training, you will probably cut a few people. Depending on the time of year, they may need stitches. If it’s winter and they’re wearing leather coats, you’re just going to ruin their coat. Then they will beat you to a bloody pulp. Even a talented, skilled swordsman would have a hard time in a crowd. Think about this – which will get people wet faster, a super soaker that you just shoot randomly, or running around trying to tag people with a wet sponge?

Last thing to think about. If you cook, you know how hard it is to use a knife skillfully on a raw chicken or fish. You’re cutting with a blade. Now multiply the difficulty of making good, clean cuts by a thousand, since you have a target that can and does move, and what would have been a clean cut a half second ago is now a complete miss.

Hey, if you can actually get criminals to give up firearms for swords, the world will be a safer place.

Comments

6 responses to “Have some toilet paper for your mouth…”

  1. Justin Kownacki Avatar

    This may not have been intended to be hysterical, but Ann and I just laughed out loud several times. Well done, sir. And I’m putting my screwdrivers away.

  2. Justin Kownacki Avatar

    This may not have been intended to be hysterical, but Ann and I just laughed out loud several times. Well done, sir. And I’m putting my screwdrivers away.

  3. Chris Hambly Avatar

    I really dig your focuss Chris, thanks for sharing. I’m off to watch Kill Bill.

  4. Chris Hambly Avatar

    I really dig your focuss Chris, thanks for sharing. I’m off to watch Kill Bill.

  5. kathryn Jones Avatar

    oh my god! I too laughed and laughed – and kept annoying my husband who is trying to do a crossword puzzle, by reading sections out loud.

    But what is not funny is how conservatives often don’t think twice about putting forth a completely inaccurate but EMOTION LADEN argument meant to further instill fear into the general public in service of their irrational desire to WIN THE DEBATE, despite the ultimate cost to the human race. Anybody watch John Stewart, when John Bolton point blank told John Stewart that Stewart was incorrect when he asserted that Lincoln had intentionally filled his cabinet with men from both political parties to assure that there was extensive information and debate on any and all important political issues. This is actually a very well documented FACT… Bolton either knowingly lied to John Stewart in service of his own point of view (which was that Bush bears no responsibility to seek out opinions that differ from his own) or had no knowledge of the actual facts but asserted what he wished were the facts as actual truths. And these are the people who are running the once great US of A…

  6. kathryn Jones Avatar

    oh my god! I too laughed and laughed – and kept annoying my husband who is trying to do a crossword puzzle, by reading sections out loud.

    But what is not funny is how conservatives often don’t think twice about putting forth a completely inaccurate but EMOTION LADEN argument meant to further instill fear into the general public in service of their irrational desire to WIN THE DEBATE, despite the ultimate cost to the human race. Anybody watch John Stewart, when John Bolton point blank told John Stewart that Stewart was incorrect when he asserted that Lincoln had intentionally filled his cabinet with men from both political parties to assure that there was extensive information and debate on any and all important political issues. This is actually a very well documented FACT… Bolton either knowingly lied to John Stewart in service of his own point of view (which was that Bush bears no responsibility to seek out opinions that differ from his own) or had no knowledge of the actual facts but asserted what he wished were the facts as actual truths. And these are the people who are running the once great US of A…

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