The press release I wish I could send out

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When I looked at my marketing campaign brief for October, one of the items is the $10,000 scholarship. This press release immediately came to mind:


Student Loan Network $10,000 Scholarship Will Be Awarded on Halloween

Quincy, MA —

The Student Loan Network blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah industry leading blah blah blah blah blah blah leader blah blah blah blah affordable blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah landmark blah blah blah blah historic blah blah blah blah serving families blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah customer service blah blah blah blah blah blah

We’re giving away $10,000 on Halloween to one lucky student. www.StudentLoanNetwork.com/10K.

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah President and CEO said, “blah blah blah blah blah blah leadership blah blah blah we care blah blah blah number one priority”. Blah blah blah savings blah blah blah blah blah blah thought leader blah blah blah blah blah blah competitive blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah full suite blah blah blah blah oh my god are you still reading this blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Internet blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah serving tomorrow’s blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.


Sadly, this isn’t quite the level of professionalism expected in a press release, even if it’s 100% accurate and gets the point across nicely. Why is it most press releases are full of fluff?

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Comments

7 responses to “The press release I wish I could send out”

  1. Michelle Sullivan Avatar

    Hi Chris,

    I strive to ensure my press releases are anything but fluff, and wonder why it is that an announcement about a $10 000 prize would be considered un-professional.

    .. unless it's not true?

    Wondering what it is I'm missing.

    Unless you _actually mean_ to keep the blah blah blahs in there … in which case I'd respectfully argue that YOUR press release is full of fluff 😉

    Cheers!

    Michelle

  2. Christopher S. Penn Avatar

    Well, it's just that most student loan press releases are full of fluff, random quotes supposedly from a CEO but are ghost written, useless jargon like industry-leading, etc.

    This press release, honestly, could be one sentence long. Which begs the question – if I can convey all the facts and the story in one sentence, should it be any longer?

  3. Michelle Sullivan Avatar

    Hi Chris,

    I strive to ensure my press releases are anything but fluff, and wonder why it is that an announcement about a $10 000 prize would be considered un-professional.

    .. unless it's not true?

    Wondering what it is I'm missing.

    Unless you _actually mean_ to keep the blah blah blahs in there … in which case I'd respectfully argue that YOUR press release is full of fluff 😉

    Cheers!

    Michelle

  4. Christopher S. Penn Avatar

    Well, it's just that most student loan press releases are full of fluff, random quotes supposedly from a CEO but are ghost written, useless jargon like industry-leading, etc.

    This press release, honestly, could be one sentence long. Which begs the question – if I can convey all the facts and the story in one sentence, should it be any longer?

  5. Doug Haslam Avatar

    ?Make it 1 sentence– I double-doug dare you!

    btw. confused about FF comments being separate from vblog comments but on same page– sorry to duplicate

  6. doughaslam Avatar

    ?Make it 1 sentence– I double-doug dare you!

    btw. confused about FF comments being separate from vblog comments but on same page– sorry to duplicate

  7. doughaslam Avatar

    ?Make it 1 sentence– I double-doug dare you!

    btw. confused about FF comments being separate from vblog comments but on same page– sorry to duplicate

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