Sissy words and painful mirrors

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Ever notice how our society and culture is slowly devaluing certain words, making them less common, making them less important, even though they’re important words?

Here are some examples:

– Virtue
– Spirit
– Valor
– Moral

Virtue’s turned into a kind of sissy word. Spirit’s avoided by an awful lot of people except in the contexts of church, school sports, and cloth armor for healers in World of Warcraft. Valor is so out of date that a decent number of people don’t even know what it means (beyond Emblems of Valor for iLevel 213 gear in Warcraft). Moral is either used as a societal bludgeon by some nutcases or an anathema of personal freedom by other nutcases.

Ever wonder why words like these get devalued or pushed to the fringes? My current thinking on it deals with mirrors. How we communicate and the words we choose are mirrors of what’s going on inside. When we recoil from using some words on a societal level, on a cultural level, it might be because we don’t particularly like looking in that mirror and seeing that those words don’t apply to us much any more. Some words we desperately want to forget, like certain racial slurs. Other words, which are nominally “good” words but don’t match the reality of our society and ourselves, we just stop using instead.

For example, we don’t use virtue much in daily language because frankly and bluntly, we’re not an especially virtuous society, and thus the absence of that value is reflected in the absence of the word from the language. If you consider the classical four virtues (cardinal virtues) that stretch back to Plato:

– Prudence – able to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time
– Justice – proper moderation between the self-interest and the rights and needs of others
– Restraint or Temperance – practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation
– Courage or Fortitude – forbearance, endurance, and ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation

Then we’re not doing an especially good job of any of them, and thus the word that encompasses them falls away. One stroll around your local shopping mall and you’ll easily pick out the values that are starkly absent in our society.

Am I advocating for anything in particular? Not necessarily, though certainly more virtue would be nice. No, what I want you to take away and think about is this short list of questions:

What words have you let lapse out of your vocabulary, and what impact does that have on you?
How do you perceive yourself if those words no longer fit comfortable in your day to day language?
What words do you use most frequently instead, and do they match the ideal of who you want to be?


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Comments

9 responses to “Sissy words and painful mirrors”

  1. Teresa Basich Avatar

    The best thing about this post? New perspective. We get stuck in ruts of self identification and you just offered readers a chance to break out of the rut and look at themselves, their actions, goals and current ideals in a different way. It definitely has me thinking.

    Thank you for this. 🙂

  2. Teresa Basich Avatar

    The best thing about this post? New perspective. We get stuck in ruts of self identification and you just offered readers a chance to break out of the rut and look at themselves, their actions, goals and current ideals in a different way. It definitely has me thinking.

    Thank you for this. 🙂

  3. Teresa Avatar

    The best thing about this post? New perspective. We get stuck in ruts of self identification and you just offered readers a chance to break out of the rut and look at themselves, their actions, goals and current ideals in a different way. It definitely has me thinking.

    Thank you for this. 🙂

  4. Lisa Gibbens Avatar
    Lisa Gibbens

    My missing word? “Problems”. I work in government, and we never have problems any more… only “challenges”. Perhaps this is why we have trouble finding solutions? ;-p

  5. Lisa Gibbens Avatar
    Lisa Gibbens

    My missing word? “Problems”. I work in government, and we never have problems any more… only “challenges”. Perhaps this is why we have trouble finding solutions? ;-p

  6. Lisa Gibbens Avatar
    Lisa Gibbens

    My missing word? “Problems”. I work in government, and we never have problems any more… only “challenges”. Perhaps this is why we have trouble finding solutions? ;-p

  7. quired Avatar

    Bravo Christopher. Indeed all of these words have been replaced by one powerful word. “Sensationalism”. We see it in sports, movies, commercials, business and our lives. We are driven by what is hot and repelled by what is not. Our icons today are fashioned on how they look and what they say as opposed to what they accomplish.

    How dare you mention “Morality”. Because we all know we don't measure up to the expectation so who are we to preach.

    And “Sprit”, are you kidding me. How could there possibly be something greater than us because we have all become so special.

    “Virtue” (The quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong.) How could we possibly draw this line. All people are good inside. The bad is only because something made them this way. So we need to blame “something”.

    “Valor” Oh it exists – Sensationalism has just crowded it out.

  8. J. Paul Duplantis Avatar

    Bravo Christopher. Indeed all of these words have been replaced by one powerful word. “Sensationalism”. We see it in sports, movies, commercials, business and our lives. We are driven by what is hot and repelled by what is not. Our icons today are fashioned on how they look and what they say as opposed to what they accomplish.

    How dare you mention “Morality”. Because we all know we don't measure up to the expectation so who are we to preach.

    And “Sprit”, are you kidding me. How could there possibly be something greater than us because we have all become so special.

    “Virtue” (The quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong.) How could we possibly draw this line. All people are good inside. The bad is only because something made them this way. So we need to blame “something”.

    “Valor” Oh it exists – Sensationalism has just crowded it out.

  9. J. Paul Duplantis Avatar

    Bravo Christopher. Indeed all of these words have been replaced by one powerful word. “Sensationalism”. We see it in sports, movies, commercials, business and our lives. We are driven by what is hot and repelled by what is not. Our icons today are fashioned on how they look and what they say as opposed to what they accomplish.

    How dare you mention “Morality”. Because we all know we don't measure up to the expectation so who are we to preach.

    And “Sprit”, are you kidding me. How could there possibly be something greater than us because we have all become so special.

    “Virtue” (The quality of doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong.) How could we possibly draw this line. All people are good inside. The bad is only because something made them this way. So we need to blame “something”.

    “Valor” Oh it exists – Sensationalism has just crowded it out.

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