Which is the real home?

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Which is the real home?

Imagine yourself standing inside your home (be it an apartment, condo, house, or other place to live) and looking out the window. See the world as it passes by, see the seasons come and go.

Now, change places. Imagine yourself standing outside your home, looking in the window. See life as you live it, meals served and eaten, holidays celebrated in the way you do at home.

Here’s a question: Which view is the REAL home?

What a ludicrous question, huh? They’re both your home, from different perspectives. Outside looking in or inside looking out, it’s still your home, just from different points of view. They’re both real, both valid.

Seems logical, doesn’t it?

So why do so many of us work so terribly hard at managing others’ perceptions of ourselves as separate and distinct entities from how we see ourselves?

Imagine how strange a home it would be if you had separate, one-way windows for looking out and for looking in. Wouldn’t that be a little creepy? Wouldn’t that be horribly inefficient?

The closer you can get to looking out the same window that everyone else is looking in, the fewer windows you have to maintain and keep clean, and the easier it will be for you and the world to see eye to eye.

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Comments

11 responses to “Which is the real home?”

April 13, 2010

whitneyhoffman

I call this the singularity- when you become inside what they see from outside; the closer these two are to identical, the happier and more confident you'll be. It can change over time, but I think I'm getting closer and closer every day.

Reply
April 13, 2010

Dyana Valentine

as usual, Christopher, you raise the bar. Your post reminds me of the Johari Window–you know that one? The basics are (organized in a quadrant from top left, top right, bottom left, bottom right):
what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others – open area, open self, free area, free self, or ‘the arena’
what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know – blind area, blind self, or ‘blindspot’
what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know – hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or ‘facade’
what is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others – unknown area or unknown self

More on: http://bit.ly/johari4

I love the way you provoke and soothe all at once. I share your podcast and blog with my students (many have taken me up on extra credit to find three useful tools and write about them). Thank you for being a well of goodness! Dy

Reply
April 13, 2010

gravity

How many people see themselves accurately as they truly are? How many are happy with who they are? It's a big topic.

Reply
April 13, 2010

whitneyhoffman

I call this the singularity- when you become inside what they see from outside; the closer these two are to identical, the happier and more confident you'll be. It can change over time, but I think I'm getting closer and closer every day.

Reply
April 13, 2010

whitneyhoffman

I call this the singularity- when you become inside what they see from outside; the closer these two are to identical, the happier and more confident you'll be. It can change over time, but I think I'm getting closer and closer every day.

Reply
April 13, 2010

Jason Seiden

Hey, you're the man in the mirror only a few minutes each day… but you're the man in the window 24/7.

Reply
April 13, 2010

Jason Seiden

Hey, you're the man in the mirror only a few minutes each day… but you're the man in the window 24/7.

Reply
April 13, 2010

Gordon R. Clogston

Very insightful post. I am reminded of a psychology class I took years ago wherein we spent many hours discussing the Johari window. The lessons I took away from that class included the necessity to create self-awareness, be true to myself, and then be true to others. There may still be elements of my own self that I do not see, but the ability and willingness to focus on being as transparent as possible as been a life long pursuit. Brutal honesty is sometimes difficult for both the presenter and the receiver, but you are correct, the closer we get to that state, the easier and happier life is.

Reply
April 13, 2010

Gordon R. Clogston

Very insightful post. I am reminded of a psychology class I took years ago wherein we spent many hours discussing the Johari window. The lessons I took away from that class included the necessity to create self-awareness, be true to myself, and then be true to others. There may still be elements of my own self that I do not see, but the ability and willingness to focus on being as transparent as possible as been a life long pursuit. Brutal honesty is sometimes difficult for both the presenter and the receiver, but you are correct, the closer we get to that state, the easier and happier life is.

Reply
April 13, 2010

gravity

How many people see themselves accurately as they truly are? How many are happy with who they are? It's a big topic.

Reply
April 13, 2010

gravity

How many people see themselves accurately as they truly are? How many are happy with who they are? It's a big topic.

Reply